Thursday, June 27, 2013

a pattern explosion pulled in two

top: joie
bottoms: parker
shoes: circus by sam edelman

RT left this morning to meet his family at a lake house that they rent for a week every summer. i wish i could go too but i know he will have a blast. he is going to spend today on the lake with everyone and then tomorrow all of the guys are going to play golf before he heads back home to me :)

he was at work yesterday and will go back to work saturday so we met this morning for a perfect  breakfast of yummy waffles and pretty leaf designed cappuccinos to spend some much needed time together before he got on the road to OK

ever since our transfer RT asks me this question at least one hundred times a day .. do you feel pregnant??

it is so sweet to see the excitement in the eyes of the man i adore so much. to know that his desire for children is just as strong as mine. to watch him hope so hard for these embryos to burrow in and attach to me. to live and grow until we can meet them in this life ..

it swells my heart

my answer is the same every time .. i have no idea {ha!}

and that is the truth .. i have never been pregnant before .. i have absolutely no idea what i am supposed to feel like. but what i feel is pretty normal .. with a little bit of added constant anxiety

you see .. i am beyond hopeful and prayerful for our little boy and girl .. but i am also terrified

we know these babies are genetically normal
we know they are .. as far as embryos go .. as good as they can be
but we also know there is no for sure
i still may not be pregnant and i don't know if i could take that
i'm not sure RT could either

so while i have immense hope .. i also have immense fear

monday can't come and go soon enough

trying to hold strong :)

happy thursday!!

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