Thursday, November 17, 2016

two minutes for forever

three years ago i wrote this ..

i love a child i have never met
          i love their mother too
                    more than i really know how to express
                                     is that hard to understand?

somewhere out there is a woman who is either already pregnant 
or will become pregnant with the baby that RT and i will get to raise
she is my hero

i feel like as humans we are selfish by nature
we simply think of ourselves first .. even if we wish we didn't
but the birth mom of our child will put herself second in order to make an adoption plan for her baby

can you even imagine?!?

for whatever reasons .. she will decide that her baby will get to have the life that she deeply desires for them by going to live with someone else .. with us

the magnitude of that is hard for me to wrap my brain around

she loves her baby so much that she will be willing to let us raise him/her .. and one thing is for sure .. our baby will know that about their mother. they will know how much she loves them. they will know that is why they live with us .. that is why we get to be their mom and dad

she is not giving up on her child
she is not weak and unwilling

she is the exact opposite
she is giving up herself for her child
          she is the strongest most willing person
                    strong enough to make an adoption plan to let us raise her child
                               willing enough to think objectively about what she truly wants for her baby

i adore them both and i can't wait to meet them so that we can all become a family ..

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this morning .. RT LG and i spent two minutes on a call to a hearing in nevada that legally made LG our daughter
she is now legally recognized as who she has always been .. our daughter

i now know the child i wrote about three years ago 
i know her and love her on this deep mother.daughter level that .. at that time .. i didn't even understand
and i love her tummy mommy even more than i knew i would 

on this day .. all of my feelings and opinions about LGs tummy mommy are the same .. i am just even more passionate about them now 

she is selfless
she is strong
she is brave
she is my hero

because of her .. my family is complete in a way it could have never been without LG
because of her .. i held our daughter and wept the happiest tears as the judge decreed that our family is legal
because of her .. we will celebrate this day .. november seventeenth .. right in the middle of national adoption month .. as one of the most special days in our family history

it is a happy happy day!!