Tuesday, February 25, 2014

a letter

dress: rachel pally
jacket: mcginn
shoes: steve madden
i want to write a letter to B
as her due date nears it feels important to me to let her know all of the emotions swirling around inside me. i am so much better at saying all that i want and mean to say if i write it down instead of trying to say it in person. maybe that's impersonal but for me it is most important to be honest and thorough

especially with this

so i want to write her a letter but every time i open up pages on my ipad i go blank

how do i fully covey to her how much i adore her
how much i adore her baby girl
how desperately i want to be her baby's mom
how sharing that title with her would be my greatest honor
how strong and brave and selfless she is
how i feel like i have been on this crazy twisted journey that ultimately lead me to her .. and that is more perfect than anything else
how i will think of and cherish and pray for her everyday for the rest of my life
how she is changing everything for me .. for us .. in the most incredible way
how .. even though i will never be able to truly understand .. i know this is painful for her .. and i appreciate her willingness to live through the pain to do what she feels is best
how i know the depth of her love for her baby

i mean i could go on and on forever
but when i try to write it down
put it together in a letter
it feels inadequate
my words are inadequate

i have just a few short weeks to get this letter completed so hopefully i can find a way

happy tuesday!!

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