Monday, December 16, 2013

matched .. again

top: rails
pants: j brand
boots: jeffrey campbell
this is the kind of shirt that i could wear everyday all day and still never get tired of it. it is soft and cozy and big and comfy and colorful and just all around awesome ..

anyway ..

friday night .. right before i was leaving the hoop .. i received a text from a case worker in florida that we have been chosen by a birth mom due with a baby girl in april!!

she saw our profile on monday and we had been impatiently waiting the rest of the week hoping to hear good news

i sent the case worker a text early in the day on friday letting her know that we were very excited and anxious to hear and were hoping for good news. she responded letting me know she didn't have a final answer quite yet but that she was pretty sure it was going to be great news and that she would call me as soon as she had a final decision

it was hard not to hold my breath for the rest of the day
my anxiety was up
the butterflies in my stomach were on overdrive

is this mom our birth mom??
is her baby going to be our baby too??

then .. at close to five i received a text saying
great news!
i am so happy to let you know that B picked your family!
she is so excited as i'm sure you are as well :)
the most beautiful words ever typed in a text!
i called RT immediately
and .. he didn't answer
so i called right back
and .. he still didn't answer
so i called a third time
and .. this time he answered
{i get annoyed when people do this to me because i'm like if i couldn't answer one second ago what makes you think i can answer now but that doesn't apply to me too does it?? ha!} 
i tried to act all nonchalant asking him what he was doing and blah blah blah before i blurted out
you are going to be a daddy in april!!
we are so excited!!
i will be honest .. it is hard to completely let down our guard and feel these emotions fully after everything we went through with M but we can't hold her against this birth mom or against ourselves for that matter
she happened and that sucks but i have to remember not to give her any power over me .. over my emotions .. or over our adoption process as a whole
we have learned from our experience but i refuse to be jaded because of it
happy happy happiest of mondays!!

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