Thursday, February 12, 2015

the misfit box

top: trina turk
jacket: joie
pants: rich+skinny
shoes: dv by dolce vita
hat: target

today i printed out all of the paperwork that RT and i will have to fill out in order to update our home study so that .. when we are ready .. we can open our hearts to the next adoption situation and some new emotions have surfaced

in building our family we have found ourselves in three different "boxes"

the first box is the one for those who start trying .. get pregnant .. and have their baby
we never fit in that box but we thought we would right at first {as i guess everyone does}

the second is the infertile box .. there are lots of types of infertility but we fit securely in this box .. the weird thing is that i kinda feel like a misfit now because we did get pregnant .. and even more than that we did so naturally 

the third is the adoption box .. we also fit securely in this box because we are very passionate about adoption and definitely want to have at least one adopted child but i feel like a misfit because both of our adoptions have failed so far 

it is the strangest feeling
it takes me back to every girl's awkward middle school years when all she wants is to fit in
i don't want my family to be any different than it is so far and i have gotten to a place  where i am still sad and hurt and angry about the events of our past but i am also grateful for them because we are who we are as a family because of our past
but i do feel like an outcast of all of the "boxes" i have been in recently
being a misfit is always a bit awkward and uncomfortable

maybe that's the point .. who knows

happy Thursday!!

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