Friday, December 11, 2015

i blame it on the football

i love to celebrate
anything and everything

i love the decorations .. the food .. the time spent with family and friends
i am sort of crazy over it all

so naturally holidays rank high for me
and Christmas is one of the best

i have a sort of ritual for decorating for Christmas
i always beg RT to get everything down before we go to my mom's for thanksgiving
i love coming home after thanksgiving to a house dripping with Christmas

i pour a big glass of hot apple cider and turn on the movie elf and i dive head first into the boxes of decorations
i usually start with the tree and this year was no different
the littlest was down for a nap and RT was running an errand and i was in my own happy little holiday world

and then things started to go downhill ..

last year .. RT got me a new beautiful tree
he put it up for me so this was my first time putting it up myself
it doesnt connect the same as my old tree but i didnt know that

i set the base up and then put the first part in
it was wobbly
like really super wobbly

i took it apart and then back together but it was still wobbly
what!! the!! heck!! is!! going!! on!!??

the littlest woke up and i had to take a break
we played for a while and had dinner and bath time
when she went down for the night RT still wasn't home
i called him
he didnt answer {big mistake!}

i messed with the tree some more but nothing was helping
i called RT again
he answered {big mistake!}

me: where are you??
RT: i just stopped by pat's to see the kids real quick .. is everything ok??
me: no!! the tree is jacked up and i cant figure out why!!
RT: oookkkkk .. what is wrong with it??
me: its wobbly!! and it can't be wobbly because the littlest will pull it over!!
RT: ok .. well .. i will be home soon and i will try to figure it out

when he got home i will still figgitting but it was really just for show
he took it apart and put it back together
still wobbly
out came the hammer
bang!! bang!! bang!!
still wobbly
we wrapped it with some duct tape and then hammered it into the base
bang!! bang!! bang!!
better .. still wobbly .. but better .. probably the littlest can't pull it down now

deep breath
ok .. get back into the good festive mood
RT is now watching football so no more elf but thats ok i have a new cup of cider and i'm feeling positive again
let's finish setting up this tree

i pick up the second piece
awkwardly carry it over and try to place it on top of the offending piece on the bottom
but it doesnt go on

the ou fight song blares in the background and this is when i realize where i went wrong
i put the middle piece on the bottom and am now trying to put the bottom piece in the middle
you have got to be kidding me!!

me: umm .. RT .. i know what happened .. you see on the old tree .. (blah blah blah .. excuses for my stupidity) .. so that piece goes in the middle .. we need to get it out of the base and get the tape off of it
RT: oh .. ok

we get the bottom put in its correct place and then i put the middle on
yes!! victory!!

ok .. now .. how do these connect??
i look and i look for the open plugs
but i can't find them

me: umm .. RT .. can you help me?? i cant find the plugs
he gets up and gets a flash light
he finds the plugs and sits back down to watch the game
thanks babe!!

i put the top on

ok .. now .. how do these connect??
i look and i look for the open plugs
but again i can't find them

me (getting superbly frustrated): can you help me?? i cant find these plugs either!!
he gets up with his flash light and finds the plugs 
(not to self: they all plug in at the same place)
he sits back down to watch the game

another deep breath
this is not going well but i am determined
i start fluffing
everything fluffs out nicely until i get to the top
this new tree it taller than the old one and the top it very hard to get to

i keep feeling like i am going to fall off the ladder and i cant get the dang thing fluffed
the ou fight song blares in my ears for the one billionth time and i feel myself start to lose it
the threshold between rational and irrational has been breached
the tears sting the back of my eyes and i start to throw a fit

RT: whoa!! whats wrong??
me: i cant get this stupid thing to look right!! its a disaster!! i have been working on it for hours and the dang tree still isnt even up and it looks terrible!!
RT: it looks good babe ..
me: no it doesnt!!
RT: oookkkk .. how can i help
me: you cant!! you dont understand!! i know you think this is stupid and you dont care about the decorations but this is really important to me!! i love to decorate and it just isnt going well and i dont even want these stupid decorations out!! 
and in my head i screamed ..  and if i hear that ou fight song one more time i am going to throw the tree through the tv!! we dont even like ou!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i then started packing up everything and putting it on the back porch
RT let that go until i pulled the tree bag into the middle of the living room intent on putting away the tree that it had taken us an obscenely long time to assemble

RT: hey .. wait .. just stop
me: no!! i dont want any of this out!! this is supposed to be fun and happy and it just isnt and i want it all out of here!!
RT: seriously .. just stop .. just leave it and you can finish it when we get back after thanksgiving
me: no!! i want it all out of here!! your family is coming when we get home from mom and dad's and i dont want all of this just out in the middle of the house!! i want it put away!!
RT: just leave it .. we arent going to not put out the decorations
me: i dont want them!! 
and then i stomped off to the bedroom and laid down on the bed and cried
i fell asleep like that

i am happy to say that the next morning i found my holiday cheer again
RT was at work and when the littlest went down for her morning nap i poured another fresh cup of hot apple cider and turned elf back on
i finished fluffling the tree .. got all of the oranaments on and all of the decorations out in the house
it looks holly and jolly as ever and it makes me happy in my heart

truthfully .. this is not a story that i am proud of
i full on lost my cool over a Christmas tree
but i am pretty sure it wasnt my fault
i blame it on the football .. more specifically the stupid ou fight song that they blast every 20 seconds during their games
if i never hear it again it will be too soon
if elf had been on like it was supposed to be none of this would have happened

happy weekend!!

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