one month big

the littlest is already one month old
how is that even possible

exactly one second ago i was laying her on my chest for the very first time
looking into her perfect little eyes
kissing her tiny head
listening to her first sweet cries
one second ago she entered the world at six pounds twelve ounces .. now she weighs nine pounds
one second ago she was nineteen and a half inches long .. now she is twenty one inches
how has it already been a month?!?

she snuggles like a champ .. mom and dad love it!!
is learning to love a bath .. turns out kicking around in the water isn't so bad after all
she's showing us more and more of her personality everyday
and is awake during the day a lot more than a month ago
she loves to look around and is fascinated by our faces and lights
her head control is getting better and better
she is still sleeping for a good three to five hour stretches at night
and she took her very first bottle this morning which she and her daddy both loved {he got to feed her}

basically she is the best baby {my opinion might be biased ha!}

i am learning new things too ..
just about everything can be done with just one hand while the other holds a baby.. like blogging .. who says you need two hands to type??
four hours of uninterrupted sleep will make you feel like a brand new woman
going out to a thirty minute breakfast feels like a luxurious meal when you haven't eaten outside the home in a month
being a mom is the best feeling in the world
it is everything i thought it would be and also so so much more :)

i love this little girl more than i ever thought possible
happy one month angel baby

happy tuesday!!

transitioning to mommy

a few things i have noticed that change the instant you become a mom..

..the way you feel about bodily functions in general
          ..you will literally try to catch projectile spit up in your hand without even thinking about it
          ..you will cheer for big manly burps coming out of your tiny baby daughter because a good burp means more good nursing
          ..you get excited about your child's first real poop .. the first one that is not meconium
          ..your awareness about other people's coughing sneezing snot etc. is insanely heightened
..your nonexistent ability to be lazy all day is suddenly very existent because absolutely nothing is better than laying around snuggling a tiny one
..the amount of laundry and dishes you do .. INSANE
..the lack of showering you do .. also INSANE and also kind of gross
..your awareness of other peoples lack of ability to drive .. stay in your lane lady my kid's in this car!!
..how hard it is to leave them even for an hour
..your protectiveness
..this crazy love you feel
..how much you want to soak up and savor every little grunt and groan and squeak .. and on that note .. your realization of how squeaky tiny babies are
..how you simultaneously can't wait for what their future holds and really don't want them to grow even one ounce

happy tuesday!!

introducing the littlest

hello everyone!!

i am finally back {ha!}

i have been trying to write and post this blog since monday but i have other things filling up my time now so wednesday it is :)

this is the last photo taken of me before my heart left my body in the form of the most beautiful little girl in the world

she was born september thirteenth at twelve 'o nine pm

weighed six pounds twelve ounces {which her dad guessed exactly}

and was nineteen and a half inches long

with the cutest full head of dark brown hair

i know that everyone says this but i never really understood until now .. the instant rush of love that you feel for your child is absolutely indescribable!!

she is so perfect and we can't get enough of her!!

she is still so little that not even newborn size clothes fit her yet .. so we are rotating her five or so outfits that do fit knowing .. and honestly feeling a little sad .. that she is growing growing growing all the time

she is a great sleeper!!

sleeping consistently at least three hours at a time and has given us as many as five hours in the middle of the night .. she loves us {ha!}

goodness look at that face!!
she is everything and even more!!

happy wednesday!!

the close

dress: tory richard

belt: hand me down from my nana

shoes: dolce vita

as i reach the end of this pregnancy journey .. i am experiencing so many emotions .. woohoo hormones!

i am so thankful to have had the opportunity to carry this baby girl!!
i didn't think i would ever get to do that and it has been so incredibly enjoyable!!

if i never had .. that would be ok too .. you all know my passion for adoption and i by no means feel like biological relation is what makes up a family
we will absolutely have a family made up of both adopted and biological children
but i am still in awe of my GOD for choosing me to experience this miracle pregnancy
and that is exactly what it is .. we have been back to the infertility specialist and according to medical science .. we still have a 0% chance of becoming pregnant on our own

it's not luck you guys .. it's GOD

i am so excited to meet her

i am honestly kind of sad that i won't be pregnant anymore 

i am nervous about labor and delivery

i am nervous and excited about how this is going to change everything

but mostly i can't wait to get to hold her in my arms and for RT to get to hold her too

to just look into her eyes and finally have our baby

i look back at the last two years and can't believe all that we have been through

the summer we spent talking through wether or not we wanted to start trying to get pregnant

the three months we tried before RT suggested we see someone

the i word diagnosis

the first .. and then second .. failed rounds of ivf

the decision to start the adoption process

the match with M who turned out to have never been pregnant in the first place 

the match with B who decided to parent after having her baby

and now here we are .. on the very cusp of meeting our daughter

we have endured more than i would have ever thought i was capable of

i have felt pain and sadness and hurt and anger to extents that seem unreal 

but i have also felt hope and encouragement and excitement and faith

and every single bit of it is what got us to this place 

this place where our family of two becomes three {really six because the dogs are family too}

happy friday to all of you!!

i will be back after this little one shows her beautiful face :)

on the dark side

leggings and tank: gap maternity

top: free people

shoes: i honestly have no idea who makes them but i got them in 

new orleans and love love love them!!

i am normally a brights girl but sometimes you just have to venture over to the dark side ya know

i bought this revlon lip stick that RT described as blurple .. blackish purple .. and it is a fun change from the hot pink i normally wear
i love it!!

with the start of september .. my love of fall and winter has arrived in full swing but you see i live in the extreme heat that is the state of tx and it won't truly feel like fall for a couple more months probably

so for now i am just pretending :)

happy tuesday!!

a few weird things

top: heartloom

skirt: bobi

shoes: dolce vita

{one} i can't see my feet. and maybe this isn't weird to you. maybe you are thinking to yourself duh you dummy you are nine freakin months pregnant of course you can't see your feet but when you realize for the first time in your life that you actually cannot see your feet without bending way over and really trying hard at it .. it's totally weird!!

{two} on friday my mom and sister and three of her kids picked me up at home and we went to this garden by my house to pick up some locally grown produce {this place is totally awesome by the way and i am beyond pumped about my weekly goodie box of freshness} and afterward stopped to get frozen yogurt. because well you just have to make those kinds of stops sometimes. and as we were walking in i saw my reflection and was honest to goodness shocked by my big pregnant belly. i mean the thing is big. and even though it has been steadily getting that way for oh i don't know the last eight and a half months or so .. sometimes when i get a quick glimpse it shocks me a little .. weird!!

{three} RT asked me to make italian food one night for dinner this week. this is huge people!! italian is my most favorite but RT isn't much of a pasta person so i normally don't make it when he is home. a few days ago he legitimately asked .. with absolutely no prompting from me at all .. if i would make some baked ziti with meat sauce or something like that {his exact words} .. it's weird but i would be lying if i said i didn't do a pretty spectacular victory dance over it

{four} the hashtag #chihuahuasofinstagram exists ... this isn't so much weird as it is just plain flippin awesome!! i am a shameless chichi lover and i looked through all the #chihuahuasofinstagram photos for about an hour the other night

{five} it's baby month!! i am going to be a mom before this month ends!! A MOM .. please take a second to let that soak in .. i have been hoping and wishing and praying for this for a long time and we are so close now .. i  can't believe it!! i am so so excited!!

happy tuesday!!

finishing touches

hat: michael stars
dress: free people
shoes: circus by sam edelman

it is crib painting day

RT and my brother in law are at my house as we speak painting the cribs that my my sister and brother in law gave to us

i am sure that sounds crazy as close as we are to having this little girl 

but hey better late than never right {ha!}

and we do have a bassinet for her to sleep in if she came today for some reason so it's not as crazy as it sounds

once that crib dries .. we will put it together .. put the sheets on .. and then every single thing will be fully ready

twenty two days until due date!!

happy thursday!!