the close

dress: tory richard

belt: hand me down from my nana

shoes: dolce vita

as i reach the end of this pregnancy journey .. i am experiencing so many emotions .. woohoo hormones!

i am so thankful to have had the opportunity to carry this baby girl!!
i didn't think i would ever get to do that and it has been so incredibly enjoyable!!

if i never had .. that would be ok too .. you all know my passion for adoption and i by no means feel like biological relation is what makes up a family
we will absolutely have a family made up of both adopted and biological children
but i am still in awe of my GOD for choosing me to experience this miracle pregnancy
and that is exactly what it is .. we have been back to the infertility specialist and according to medical science .. we still have a 0% chance of becoming pregnant on our own

it's not luck you guys .. it's GOD

i am so excited to meet her

i am honestly kind of sad that i won't be pregnant anymore 

i am nervous about labor and delivery

i am nervous and excited about how this is going to change everything

but mostly i can't wait to get to hold her in my arms and for RT to get to hold her too

to just look into her eyes and finally have our baby

i look back at the last two years and can't believe all that we have been through

the summer we spent talking through wether or not we wanted to start trying to get pregnant

the three months we tried before RT suggested we see someone

the i word diagnosis

the first .. and then second .. failed rounds of ivf

the decision to start the adoption process

the match with M who turned out to have never been pregnant in the first place 

the match with B who decided to parent after having her baby

and now here we are .. on the very cusp of meeting our daughter

we have endured more than i would have ever thought i was capable of

i have felt pain and sadness and hurt and anger to extents that seem unreal 

but i have also felt hope and encouragement and excitement and faith

and every single bit of it is what got us to this place 

this place where our family of two becomes three {really six because the dogs are family too}

happy friday to all of you!!

i will be back after this little one shows her beautiful face :)