pump it up

top: de lux     tank: target     skirt: french connection     shoes: dolce vita

so tomorrow RT and i have the day off together and i've gotta tell ya i am pretty pumped about it. pending we get the list of all of the paperwork we need to acquire in order to schedule our adoption home study we are going to spend the day working on that. if not then i don't know what we will do but regardless i will get to spend the day with my husband. woohoo!!

i wore this sequined skirt and tshirt to work yesterday. it was the perfect monday outfit because the tshirt and flats were easy and comfy but the skirt pumped it up a notch

and while we are on the subject these are literally my only pair of flat sandals that aren't reef flip flops from back in my high school days. i keep ordering flats from zappos {my absolute favorite online shopping EVER!!} but when they come in i put them on and hate them every time. i am just  heels girl through and through

anyway .. happy tuesday!!

finding content

top: trina turk
skirt: i honestly have no earthly idea
shoes: sam edelman

this past sunday we started a “finding the one” series at church. while this doesn’t directly pertain to me .. obviously i have already found the one {ha!} .. the message on sunday spoke loud and clear. chris delivered a message about finding complete contentment in Christ. he explained that if your contentment relies on Christ + anything else then you will never attain true peace

he might as well have been talking directly to me. with all of the i word issues we have been dealing with .. i have to be honest and confess that i am not content. i have been pleading with God .. if you will just bless us with the baby we want so desperately then i will be fulfilled .. i will need nothing else. while i truly believe that the Lord has given us the desire that we have to raise children and i know one day we will have kids .. i have not been content solely in Christ. i have to learn to be. i have to put in the time and work to be completely fine with whatever season God has me in

Hebrews 2:1 says .. for this reason we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it 

i keep thinking that i wish we weren’t going through this and i do so terribly wish that we weren’t  but while the i word has been close to impossible to endure .. there have also been some positive consequences. RT and i have learned to fully rely on each other. we are the only ones who truly understand our situation. sure plenty of others have gone through the i word and some have much worse stories than we do but every experience is different. nobody knows exactly how we feel except for us. we have gone through times where we have been closer than ever and times where we feel quite distant but regardless .. we are in this together. i find so much comfort in my incredible partner. we have also been forced to really look at our relationship with God. we have had to realize that we have to either fully trust or turn away. thankfully we both have strong faith that our Lord has a perfect plan and for some reason this is part of it. so even though it seems much easier to coast through life .. weathering the storm forces us to be fully aware and to make decisions strategically instead of just letting things happen how they happen. if nothing else .. this has kept us on our toes

so .. as i am sure you can tell .. i am not pregnant .. AGAIN. to know that we transferred two completely rock star genetically correct embryos and i am still not pregnant is {to say the least} devastating. my doctor said that there is no rhyme or reason. they have done every blood test and run ever internal scan and my body is completely fine. for some reason .. i am simply rejecting our babies

we are heart broken

we still have one little girl embryo frozen that we will transfer one day but i am not in a place where i can emotionally handle that right now. i feel like we will be sending her to her death and i can’t bare the thought of that. i told RT .. we have to wait until i can be positive and excited about it. now is just not that time

one day sweet little girl .. we will come for you

so for now .. we are going to take the adoption route and for the first time in a while .. we are both really excited

this feels right

happy wednesday!!

LBD

dress: heather
shoes: luichiny
necklace: street vendor in greece

hey there! long time no talk ... i have been away from this blog for two weeks and i gotta tell ya i needed the break. sometimes it is just necessary to take some time away from everything you know what i mean

anyway .. i know there are all of these items that you are supposed to have in your closet and a classic little black dress is one of them but i just don't have one. and i have never gone to my closet and thought dang! i really need a LBD. i am not really a plain black dress kind of girl .. unless it is this one :)

this dress is AH! MAZE! ING! it is so soft and comfy and the exaggerated hemline gives it that little something unexpected that i crave in outfits that are all one color .. especially if that color is black

and let me also say praise the Lord for the rain!! it has been miserably dry and hot here and we are finally seeing some relief .. keep it comin!!

happy tuesday!!

flower bomb at the hoop

dress: vintage
shoes: mia {from so long ago i can't even remember back that far ha!}

good news everyone .. tomorrow is the fourth of july!!

i personally love the fourth and we are going to have a big time with friends and family. what are all of your plans??

if you have been reading this blog for a while then i am sure you have seen this dress a time or two but it is the perfect ultra feminine summer dress don't you think!? i wouldn't necessarily say that i tend to dress ultra feminine but sometimes you have to dig down deep for your inner audrey hepburn and go for it .. at least that's how i feel about it {ha!}

the hoop is closed for the rest of the week and i am really bad about keeping up with the blog when i am at home spending time with all of my favorite people so i probably won't be back until next week .. see you all then :)

happy fourth of july weekend!!

my favorite accessory

top: free people
bottoms: genetic denim
shoes: sam edelman

when i was in eighth or ninth grade my mom got this little white dog named minnie. we have always had dogs and cats and been a family with multiple pets but up until minnie we had never had a little sheshe dog. i will never forget what one of my mom's friends said to her ..

nancy, that is not a dog it's a purse .. she goes everywhere with you

mom didn't take that to heart so much. minnie doesn't really go anywhere but fast forward several years to when i got layla and i heard the statement loud and clear. she is just like a purse. i sling her over my arm and she goes a lot of places with me. she is my constant companion and i wouldn't have it any other way. not to mention that she is just so dang cute {ha!}

hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!

happy monday!!

homemade peach lemonade

on wednesday i had the day off and RT was at work so i spent the day doing a bunch of random things .. one of which was making homemade peach lemonade and i thought it turned out so yummy that sharing the recipe with all of you seemed like the only right thing to do :)

first .. chop up two cups of fresh peaches and throw them in a pot with four cups of water and three fourths of a cup of sugar .. bring it all to a boil and then simmer for three minutes

next .. take the pot off the heat and let the mixture cool for half an hour .. pour it all into a blender and puree into oblivion

then .. pour it from the blender through a sieve into your pitcher before you put the pitcher in the fridge for an hour or more

4th .. pour one cup of fresh squeezed lemon juice into the peachy yumminess and watch in amazement as the color magically turns from this boring light brown color into a pretty and perfectly fitting peach color :)

and to finish it all off .. put some ice and a slice of fresh peach into a glass and pour yourself a delectable homemade refreshment 

happy weekend!!

a pattern explosion pulled in two

top: joie

bottoms: parker

shoes: circus by sam edelman

RT left this morning to meet his family at a lake house that they rent for a week every summer. i wish i could go too but i know he will have a blast. he is going to spend today on the lake with everyone and then tomorrow all of the guys are going to play golf before he heads back home to me :)

he was at work yesterday and will go back to work saturday so we met this morning for a perfect  breakfast of yummy waffles and pretty leaf designed cappuccinos to spend some much needed time together before he got on the road to OK

ever since our transfer RT asks me this question at least one hundred times a day .. do you feel pregnant??

it is so sweet to see the excitement in the eyes of the man i adore so much. to know that his desire for children is just as strong as mine. to watch him hope so hard for these embryos to burrow in and attach to me. to live and grow until we can meet them in this life ..

it swells my heart

my answer is the same every time .. i have no idea {ha!}

and that is the truth .. i have never been pregnant before .. i have absolutely no idea what i am supposed to feel like. but what i feel is pretty normal .. with a little bit of added constant anxiety

you see .. i am beyond hopeful and prayerful for our little boy and girl .. but i am also terrified

we know these babies are genetically normal
we know they are .. as far as embryos go .. as good as they can be
but we also know there is no for sure
i still may not be pregnant and i don't know if i could take that
i'm not sure RT could either

so while i have immense hope .. i also have immense fear

monday can't come and go soon enough

trying to hold strong :)

happy thursday!!