mommy wars

top: patterson j kincaid
sweater: velvet
leggings: spanx
shoes: dolce vita

let me start by saying that this post is not directed at anyone
it is not a result of any bad personal experience
i have been really lucky .. i have lots of great moms around me and i have been able to amicably bounce ideas and get advice from them all without feeling like they are judging me

but something i have learned since becoming a mom .. every single mom has a different style and some will go to war with you to prove her way is the right way

breast feeding vs formula feeding

and if you choose to breast feed .. how long?? 

six weeks

six months

a year

two years

cloth diapers vs disposable

tummy sleepers vs back sleepers

working moms vs stay at home

co.sleepers vs crib only

vaccinations vs not

swaddle blanket vs no blankets at all

store bought baby food vs homemade

day care vs at home care

there are infinite more but let me tell you what i know for sure .. we all love our kids more than anything

we all want the best for them

and we are all doing the best we can and what we feel is right

i don't love my child more because i chose to/have been able to breast feed her and you didn't/were not able to make that same choice

you don't love your child more because you are choosing not to vaccinate but i am

lets make a deal .. i won't try to convince you to do it my way if you don't try to convince me to do it your way

let's be supportive of each other instead of at war

because in the end all these kids are going to grow up to be just fine

happy tuesday!!

to you .. who are waiting

waiting for a little one

allow me to say two words that will surely make you cringe ..
i understand

now let me explain ..

i understand that i don't understand
i understand that no matter what your story is .. it is yours alone and nobody else's is quite like it
i understand that you are in pain
that you are angry
that you are sad
that you have so many emotions coursing through you that you feel like you might explode

i understand that your situation seems hopeless
i understand that nothing anyone says makes you feel better
i understand that you are in darkness and can't find the light
right now .. it's not a tunnel with an end .. it's an inescapable pit

i understand that to you .. i am no longer like you .. i am one of the lucky ones who has a baby
so i won't try to tell you that i get what your going through
like you .. my story is mine alone
but i will tell you that i hate what you are enduring
nobody deserves it
unfortunately that doesn't matter
way to many of us walk the painful waiting path

so even though this will sound cliche .. try to find comfort in the fact that someday you will find the light in your little one

until then ..
know that you are not as alone as you feel
even if i don't know you or your story
you are heavy on my heart and in my prayers

happy monday!!

four months big

the littlest turned four months old yesterday

we opened up this new toy for her to play with .. she is still a little bit short for it but she thought it was great fun :)

we went to the doctor 

she now weighs fourteen pounds  and is twenty four inches long

she's in the thirtieth percentile for height and the forty first for weight

she had to get two shots and an oral vaccine and she absolutely hated it

but she is in general healthy and happy and that is what matters

she loves..

.. playing with toys

.. bath time

.. singing with mommy

.. watching sports with daddy

.. standing up

she has started ..

.. rolling from her back to her front .. she has been rolling from her front to her back for a while now but just started rolling from her back to her front yesterday

.. sitting up in toys that have seats

.. standing on our laps and bouncing 

.. looking in mirrors

she does not love ..

.. the car .. we still battle that pretty much every time we get in the car

.. being tired 

.. going to people she doesn't know .. the stranger danger is in full force and she considers pretty much anyone she doesn't see on a super regular basis a stranger .. it is actually pretty sad

every day with her is more fun than the day before :)

happy wednesday!!

two eight

top: joie

sweater: velvet

jeans: citizens of humanity

shoes: urban outfitters

today is my twenty eighth birthday and RT got me maroon 5 tickets!!

woohoo!!

i am a huge fan and i absolutely cannot wait to go to the concert!!

thank you babe!!

such an awesome gift!!

i joke with RT all the time about being soo much younger than him and him being soo old in comparison to me but the truth is that getting older doesn't bother me at all

i know that seems like a silly thing to say because i am still so young

but the older i get the more exciting life gets

so i welcome the years to come

happy birthday to me :)

and happy tuesday to you!!

another year down

another year has come to a close and as i sat down to write this post i began reflecting on the events of the last year

it is hard to believe so much happened in just one year's time

there was lots of good and lots of bad

lots of happy and lots of sad

i suppose that is just how life goes

we started twenty fourteen newly matched with B and feeling hopeful for the first time since all of the hooplah that happened with M

sadly .. after having her baby she decided to parent

i still think about that baby girl every single day

after living with my parents for a year we moved back into our newly renovated house and we couldn't be happier with the outcome

we lost both of RT's grandfathers last year

the grief is immense 

their memories live on in our hearts

we found out i was pregnant .. against all medical odds .. with our tiny baby girl and spent much of the year going to doctors appointments and preparing to be parents 

i made the seemingly impossible decision to leave my job that i loved at the hoop to go back to work for my mom

that choice was the right one but is still bittersweet

of course the most important and exciting thing that happened in twenty fourteen was the birth of the littlest .. we could not be more in love with her and i am in a constant state of thanks that she is ours .. that i get to be this perfect baby girl's mommy

i am very interested to see what twenty fifteen will bring

if i have learned anything it is that life is unpredictable 

but .. unpredictable can be very very good :)

happy new year to you all!!