vivid

our adoption consultant posted this on facebook and i am obsessed with it .. so beautiful!!

my intention today was to post a house update .. so many major changes have been made this week .. but as i sit here all i can think of is the birth mom who could be reading though our profile right this very second .. the house update will have to wait

i don't know this birth mom but i have a very clear picture of her in my mind
i don't know how this process works but in my head i see the scenario play out step by step
i see her walking through the doors of the adoption agency this morning full of hope, fear and anxious and excited nerves
in my head she is dressed in jeans and flats with a fitted t.shirt worn sweetly over the beautiful growing baby
she goes back into a room and sits down at a table to pour through the family profiles her agent has brought to present to her
there are four or five profiles out on the table and taking a deep breathe she reaches for the first
she reads through them all
hanging on every word
analyzing every picture
is this couple THE couple??
will they love my baby as much as i do??
will they give my baby everything i want them to have??
are they the ones??

i know that i cant even come close but i feel like i almost feel her feelings .. mirror them
i so badly want us to be the ones for her baby
to be the family that meets her wants and needs and expectations

i am nervous and scared and hopeful and feel so much love for that sweet woman
her bravery and love is unimaginable
i am in constant prayer for her
that even if we aren't the ones .. she will find the family that is