homemade peach lemonade

on wednesday i had the day off and RT was at work so i spent the day doing a bunch of random things .. one of which was making homemade peach lemonade and i thought it turned out so yummy that sharing the recipe with all of you seemed like the only right thing to do :)

first .. chop up two cups of fresh peaches and throw them in a pot with four cups of water and three fourths of a cup of sugar .. bring it all to a boil and then simmer for three minutes

next .. take the pot off the heat and let the mixture cool for half an hour .. pour it all into a blender and puree into oblivion

then .. pour it from the blender through a sieve into your pitcher before you put the pitcher in the fridge for an hour or more

4th .. pour one cup of fresh squeezed lemon juice into the peachy yumminess and watch in amazement as the color magically turns from this boring light brown color into a pretty and perfectly fitting peach color :)

and to finish it all off .. put some ice and a slice of fresh peach into a glass and pour yourself a delectable homemade refreshment 

happy weekend!!

a pattern explosion pulled in two

top: joie

bottoms: parker

shoes: circus by sam edelman

RT left this morning to meet his family at a lake house that they rent for a week every summer. i wish i could go too but i know he will have a blast. he is going to spend today on the lake with everyone and then tomorrow all of the guys are going to play golf before he heads back home to me :)

he was at work yesterday and will go back to work saturday so we met this morning for a perfect  breakfast of yummy waffles and pretty leaf designed cappuccinos to spend some much needed time together before he got on the road to OK

ever since our transfer RT asks me this question at least one hundred times a day .. do you feel pregnant??

it is so sweet to see the excitement in the eyes of the man i adore so much. to know that his desire for children is just as strong as mine. to watch him hope so hard for these embryos to burrow in and attach to me. to live and grow until we can meet them in this life ..

it swells my heart

my answer is the same every time .. i have no idea {ha!}

and that is the truth .. i have never been pregnant before .. i have absolutely no idea what i am supposed to feel like. but what i feel is pretty normal .. with a little bit of added constant anxiety

you see .. i am beyond hopeful and prayerful for our little boy and girl .. but i am also terrified

we know these babies are genetically normal
we know they are .. as far as embryos go .. as good as they can be
but we also know there is no for sure
i still may not be pregnant and i don't know if i could take that
i'm not sure RT could either

so while i have immense hope .. i also have immense fear

monday can't come and go soon enough

trying to hold strong :)

happy thursday!!

three little loves

top: contrarian

bottoms: j brand

shoes: jeffrey campbell

so .. i put on and took pictures in this outfit today and then decided that i don't like this shirt with a tank under it at all but i really can't wear bare back to work so i had to buy a new top. RT was going to take pictures of me in the new outfit but then my dad got here to pick him up so basically blah blah blah it didn't happen {ha!}

moving on .. we had our i word transfer last saturday morning at 10am. we got there at 9:30 and our doctor immediately told us that of the 8 embryos we sent off for testing, 3 were genetically normal. the average for couples our age is to have about 60% be normal but for us a little more than 60% were abnormal. but i am sure not complaining .. 3 normal embryos is way better than none :)

of all 8 embryos .. 5 were girls and 3 were boys
of the normal embryos .. 2 are girls and one is a boy
we transferred a boy and a girl and our other little girl has been cryo preserved :)
we are over the moon!!
i will have the blood test to see if i am pregnant next monday

it was really interesting to talk to our embryologist because he said that without doing the testing he would have transferred embryos 1 and 2. he said they were progressing the best and looked to be the strongest in development

both 1 and 2 were abnormal embryos

this guy looks at embryos for a living
he is one of the best in the country
has years of experience
has seen more embryos than you could count and yet there is no way to know the ones that are genetically correct from the ones that are not without doing the testing

he used the metaphor that is it like looking at a perfect brand new ferrari and then lifting the hood and realizing it has no engine. so basically i am saying that the genetic testing is an absolute life saver if you are going through ivf!! it is an added cost but in my opinion it is completely worth it!!

without it .. we would have transferred another two genetically abnormal embryos and i would have gotten another negative pregnancy test

that was not fun the first time so i really don't want to experience again!!

now .. that being said .. there are no guarantees. it is possible that even though we know these two embryos are genetically correct they could still just not attach to my body and i could still not be pregnant. but .. my chances are much better this way!! we have an 83% chance of being pregnant and a 50/50 chance of having twins

praying hard for our baby boy and baby girl!!
i love them so much already :)

happy tuesday!!

so far so good

on sunday morning at 6:30am RT and i got in the car to go to our retrieval for i word cycle #2

i was beyond nervous

beyond terrified

to be right back where we were not so long ago

willingly subjecting ourselves to the potential heartbreak like before

the pain that still stings as if new

felling a severe sense of heading for doom

driving off a cliff that we know is there

and yet we went .. full speed ahead

the actual retrieval went great
we were out of there before 10am and had time to take a nap at home to sleep off some of the anesthesia before father's day lunch with my family
sunday was the perfect day for retrieval because we had nothing to do but relax

in cycle #1 .. we got nine eggs at retrieval .. on day 1 we learned that seven had fertilized .. on day 3 four were still growing strong .. on day 5 we were down to two and they were still developing fairly slow so we were encouraged to freeze our embryos and postpone transfer for 6 weeks .. that was the best option both for my body and our babies

in cycle #2 .. we got sixteen eggs at retrieval .. on day 1 we learned that thirteen had fertilized .. on day 2 nine were still growing strong and the other four were still growing just not as fast .. today is day 3 and i am anxiously waiting an update .. day 5 is friday and the doctors are going to biopsy the embryos that are doing the best and send off one cell from each to be tested for chromosomal normalcy .. pending we have at least one embryo that is genetically correct we are scheduled to transfer saturday morning at 8am

subconsciously i am guarding my feelings

trying to suppress the excitement

but how do i keep from being excited?!

despite myself i can feel the hope creeping in

the walls i have been constructing around my heart are starting to crumble

i know that some day some how RT and i will have children

i don't know if this is how we will get them

but for now .. i have to admit .. there are twinges of hope

happy wednesday!!

i do have friends

this past saturday i got to spend the whole day with my girlfriends. we had a bridal shower for bridget in the morning {YEA!!} and a going away dinner for ashley that night {BOO!!}

i feel like every one of my blog posts are either about fashion, the house, or the i word but in real life i do actually have friends {ha!}

i know my opinion is biased but i honestly have the best group of girlfriends in the world!! we all get along so well and have the best time when we are together. we are as low maintenance and low drama as a group of girls could ever be .. it honestly couldn't be any better

this year in particular has been an exciting one for all of us .. there are new cities and weddings and babies and new houses all around. everyone is going through big changes and we are able to do it with the support and excitement of one another

love you girls!! thanks for being my friends :)

happy monday!!

a house update

things are changing drastically at our house everyday right now!! they have framed out the entire downstairs and most of the upstairs too!! this morning when i went by i crossed paths with our builder and he said they may even start on the roof today!! i have to use an obscene amount of exclamation points because i am REALLY REALLY excited about it!! {ha!}

here are some pictures i have taken this week ..

my neighbor actually sent these to us friday afternoon {thanks tom and jessica :)} ..

 

you can see that all of the exterior walls on the back of the house have been removed along with the back half of the roof and 99% of the interior walls :)

we are basically starting over within the original structure {ha!}

these i took on monday ..

 

no more roof

this a view of our new master bedroom from where the porch will be

new exterior walls on the entire back of the house

this is what will be our bathroom

and this will be our closet

stairs to the second floor

 laundry room

 

 this will be the kitchen and dining area looking through from the living room

and these are from today ..

lovely view of the dumpster {ha!} but you can see that they have framed the second floor

the stairs are functioning now!! i used them today :)

you can see the upstairs above what is going to be our master bedroom

i was standing at the top of the stairs when i took this picture!!!!!!!!!!

and a view from the other side of the house

happy wednesday!!

just more of the same

#ootd .. selfie

top: joie

pants: garcia

shoes: charles david

i went to the doctor bright and early this morning. let me start by saying that now that i am forty five minutes away .. it is close to impossible for me to get to my eight am appointment on time. i really cannot stand to be late for anything ever but i can't seem to help it no matter what i do .. oh well .. ten minutes late is my new on time i guess :)

so anyway .. i went to the doctor with the plan that we would be having retrieval on friday. i don't know why i am surprised but that is no longer going to happen. my ovaries/follicles are measuring much smaller than they want them to be so i am going to have to extend my stimulants by a couple more days

it really isn't a big deal and i figure at some point along this road i am going to figure out that nothing .. and i mean absolutely NOTHING .. happens when or how i think it is going to. at some point i am going to quit trying to control and plan and just let it be .. at some point {ha!}

hoping you all had a fabulous weekend!!

happy monday!!

a house update

this is currently what the inside of our house looks like and if you have ever been in there then you know just how crazy this is!! 

we have basically no walls ..

no ceiling ..

and they even took out some of the windows where they are going to put in the stairs ..

i am standing in the room that was our bedroom looking out on the framing of our new master bedroom in the picture of the left .. in the picture on the right i am standing at the far edge of our new master looking in on the old that is now going to be our closet and bathroom .. 

and this is where the porch is going to be {and also where they seem to be storing all of the construction rubble :)}. the porch is going to be basically the same except we are putting a roof over it so they had to tear out the old porch and pour concrete under it in order to support the roof ..

we went by again this morning and they were starting to pull the roof off!! it is all so exciting!! every time we go by to view the progress i can visualize the end results more and more :)

happy weekend!!

a little of this and a little of that

dress: free people
shoes: jeffrey campbell
accessories: anthropologie

i haven't blogged all week and that honestly just now occurred to me. RT took these pictures a couple of days ago and i just haven't even thought to post them yet. my mind is elsewhere i suppose

anyway .. my ovaries have responded to round two medications in record time and i am back on my dresses only wardrobe {ha!}

i got this one on my shopping day with my mom, sisters and nieces. the very subtle ombre and equally subtle hi low hemline all done in lace is pretty much perfection in my opinion. such an easy one piece outfit that works for work or a day off or a casual dinner out. and you all know how much i love jeffrey campbell and my litas especially. they just seem to go with everything :)

we are going by the house tonight after i get off work so hopefully i will have time to put together an update on the blog tomorrow. frame work has begun woohoo!!

happy thursday!