first Christmas

our first Christmas with the littlest has come and gone

it was great!!

even though she is way too little to know was Christmas .. there is still something so magical about Christmas with a baby

this is and has always been my most favorite time of year but it was even better now that we have her :)

RT had to work on Christmas eve so the littlest and i went out to my parents' house early that morning

we hung out with my parents and my sister and her family that day

went to church that afternoon

and then had dinner and went to bed early in anticipation of santa and all of the festivities of the next day

on Christmas morning my nieces and nephews woke up early and while the littlest continued to sleep i watched them go through their stockings and open their gifts

baby girl and i waited to open until RT got there when he got off work

we went to my aunt and uncle's house for lunch and spent the afternoon with all of my extended family

afterward we headed to OK to visit RT's family 

we celebrated with our immediate family on his side that night and then with his extended family at his grandmother's house the next day

it worked out perfect this year because we were able to participate in everything that both sides of our families were doing!!

we stayed the rest of the weekend in OK and on saturday morning we woke up to several inches of snow on the ground and the biggest most beautiful snowflakes you have ever seen falling from the sky

snow is one of my favorite things in the world so i was beyond excited for the littlest to see it for the first time

she is a baby so she really didn't care other than the fact that she doesn't like her fleece full body coat thing {ha!}

we came home yesterday and i am now working on getting unpacked .. getting everything put away .. and doing the laundry

it was a fabulous Christmas  and now i can start looking forward to next year {ha!}

happy monday!!

dressing down

she is learning to make bubbles :)

me..dress: hand.me.down from my nana

sweater: velvet

the littlest..outfit: gap

full sequins for daytime??
sure!!
why not??

a few years ago my grandparents moved and nana was downsizing all of the clothes in her closet so i hit the jackpot on some of her things
this dress is amazing but RT and i just don't really go to fancy places so i have never worn it
as i was standing in front of my closet this morning trying to decide what to wear my eyes fell on these beautiful sequins and i just thought .. i'm wearing that

paired with a casual oversized cotton cardigan .. tights .. wedges .. and my most favorite hat .. and i was ready for my last day of work before Christmas break

happy weekend!!

three months big

the littlest turned three months old on saturday
how is it even possible that my tiny girl is already that big?!?

she now weighs twelve pounds four ounces

she loves..
.. watching the ceiling fan
.. smiling
.. mommy and daddy
.. watching the dogs
.. bath time
.. singing with mommy

she has started ..
.. sleeping through the night
.. sleeping in her own room
.. pushing up with her legs
.. noticing her hands and feet
.. noticing and laughing at toys hanging above her
.. being mesmerized by the tv

she does not love ..
.. to be hungry
.. to be tired
.. to get out of the bath

i love her more and more every single day!!

happy tuesday!!

the things people say

she thinks her daddy is SO funny!!

let me start this post by saying that i know that people try hard to say the right thing
they mean well
and i appreciate that
really i do
so i try to respond in a positive way

but i do have to rant a little

every since we have had the littlest many people have said some version of the following to me ..

aren't you so glad all of that other stuff didn't work out
now you have a baby of your own
what a blessing

i smile and say something along the lines of
we love her so much
but on the inside i cringe and want to scream in frustration

the littlest is absolutely a blessing and i am insanely thankful for her
but i am not glad all that other stuff didn't work out
as a matter of fact the heartbreak of those failed adoptions is still very raw
with both situations .. RT and i absolutely felt like those babies were ours
we had our hearts fully invested in those precious angels being a part of our family

and we still absolutely want to adopt one day
adoption is a passion of ours and is important to who we will be as a family
and any child we adopt will be just as much ours as the one who came from my body

i have said it before .. biology doesn't make a family

rant over :)

happy wednesday!!

some insight

me..dress: free people
sweater: velvet
boots: steve madden
hat:
nancitti..onsie: wheat
hat: kickee pants

my sister called me the other night with some kinda heavy insight .. but it was also very true and really struck a chord in my soul so i feel like i should put it out in the universe for all of you as well

she said that the Christmas after having her first baby she really found herself thinking a lot about the virgin mary and God during the birth of Jesus

think about what an exciting time it is when you are pregnant and having a baby
you are so happy and so are your family and friends
but that isn't how mary experienced it
she was very young, unmarried and a virgin and yet she became pregnant
she most likely endured a lot of judgement and persecution from the people around her including loved ones
joseph was the only one who truly stayed by her side
and then she had to travel a very long way on the back of a donkey when she was full term
i don't know about you but having just recently been way pregnant .. that sounds pretty terrible
they couldn't find anywhere to stay but in a barn at which point she goes into labor
then once she finally has her perfect little bundle of joy the only place for her to put him is in a manger

try to just imagine that
we have our babies in hospitals or other sterile environments surrounded by medical professionals
the idea of a dirty smelly barn surrounded by animals is one i am thankful i didn't experience

and then there is God's perspective
he looked down at his perfect baby Son
he knew that Jesus would lead a perfect sinless life
and he also knew that he would one day sacrifice that perfect baby boy to pay for our sins

i wouldn't sacrifice the littlest for anything or anyone in the world
even the thought of that turns my stomach
i had a hard time typing the words

and yet God loved me and you enough to sacrifice his only child so that we can spend eternity with him if we choose to
i have known all of this for my entire life
it's the Christmas story .. the birth of Christ
but for some reason .. being a new parent .. i am really understanding the weight of it

powerful stuff you guys
this is my favorite time of year
i love the light hearted feel of the Christmas season
it is happy and joyful
but the true meaning of this season is powerful stuff

happy monday!!

a design launch

sometimes awkward photos like this happen when you are all posed and then do a sudden hair flick right as your awesome photographer husband takes your picture .. you! are! welcome! {ha!}

sweater: joie
jacket: graham and spencer
jeans: frame denim
boots: seychelles

i am so super excited to launch this new blog design!!
i have been blogging for almost three years so i thought it was really time to have a professional design instead of just the stock templates from blogger

i met my sweet friend amanda through our adoption group on facebook and when i saw her amazing work on several other blogs i knew she was the one to do my blog design
she was fabulous to work with and did a fantastic job taking all of my thoughts and ideas and making them a reality

thank you manda!!
and if any of you need graphic design services you have to check her out!!{http://www.mandajulainedesigns.com/}

happy weekend!!

like a weed

let us first take a moment to admire this .. the absolute cutest picture EVER!!

moving on ..
the littlest and i went to the grocery store with my mom and my sister today and we were in line behind a very pregnant woman
i found myself thinking how lucky she is to be pregnant

it is funny how that happens .. i loved being pregnant so much and with our medical issues it is possible that i might never be pregnant again .. so i definitely miss it sometimes

don't get me wrong .. i love having the littlest here more than anything

i just sometimes miss being pregnant
i miss having her with me every second of every day
i miss feeling every little move she makes

now she is growing and changing every second of every day

this week she started sleeping in her crib in her own room during the night
she has been sleeping in a bassinet in our room
but she sleeps through the night now {best baby ever!}
and so RT's alarm for work wakes her up and then she stays up listening to him move around the room bathroom and closet while he is getting ready
if she is in her own room she just keeps on sleeping which is what we want :)

i already feel like our time with the littlest is flying by
i am so thankful for every minute that we have with her!!

happy tuesday!!

easy does it

top: patterson j kincaid
skirt: i honestly have no idea .. i have had it a while :)
jacket: mcginn
shoes: seychelles

last week i went back to work for the first time since the littlest was born
i am only going two days a week for just a few hours each day for now but i have been surprised by how i have felt about it so far

it is very two.sided

i have always worked so it is really nice to get out of the house and have some adult conversation
it is nice to go somewhere and accomplish specific tasks
i feel very productive even if all i do is pay a few bills and file some paper work

but .. i seriously miss the littlest when i am gone
like i said .. i am only gone for a few short hours but i am so used to spending twenty four hours a day seven days a week with her that when i don't see her for a few hours if feels like a really long time

we are just easing into it
getting slowly used to spending some time apart :)

happy tuesday!!